Comfortable with Uncomfortable

Most of today, I was uncomfortably damp. I took an Ashtanga-Inspired Vinyasa class this morning (a real treat, because normally I teach Sunday mornings), and I sweat so much, it was noticeable in touch and in sight (hopefully not smell), through my skin, my hair, and my clothes.

I pretty much had to go straight to a workshop I registered for from there, so no time for a shower. It was also pouring rain this morning. So, between the sweat and the rain, I was unusually wet most of the morning into the afternoon. This reminded me of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable.

This is what we do in yoga. We put ourselves in often uncomfortable positions so that we can train ourselves to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. We must take ourselves out of our comfort zone. If we are comfortable, we do not change. We get lazy. No shift occurs if we are comfortable because we will keep doing whatever it is we are doing and that is how we form habits and develop patterns and these are the very things we are trying to bring light to, to change, to shift, to become aware of, through the practice of yoga.

Driving in Meditation

As far as I am concerned, driving on Long Island is one of the more stressful activities you can be forced to endure throughout the day. If you can meditate while driving, you'll find other endeavors far easier.

When I say "meditate," I do not mean close your eyes, or daze off, get all dreamy, and end up traveling from Point A to Point B without knowing how you got there. That's not meditating. That's called not being present, and is in fact, the exact opposite of meditating.

When I say meditating, I mean you must be fully present, fully focused, and completely immersed in the moment in the act of driving -- while remaining balanced, content, and peaceful. That means, you're not harshly accelerating because you're in a rush (as everybody seems to be on Long Island). That is rajas, over-activity and aggression. That means you're not blocking intersections, even if it's just the 711, because you had the where-with-all and the foresight to see that someone would need to turn out of that parking lot or make a left-hand turn into that parking lot while you're still braking at a traffic light. That means you're not swearing the person tailgating you, even if he/she flashes his/her lights at you or honks his/her horn. That means you're not missing your turn or missing street signs or signals or sirens because your mind went somewhere else. That means you don't have to slam on your brakes because you looked down to change the song and when you looked up traffic was stopped or a pedestrian was walking in front of you. You are not la-la-ing around, admiring scenery, gazing at the stars, marveling at flowers in bloom... this is laziness, tamas, not what we are looking for while driving. You are arriving at sattva, present, alert, focused, you hear what's going on around you too, because you're not on a call wrapped up in someone else or something else that is not on the road in front of you. This is meditation. Being focused on the road, on your environment, on the affect you are having on the environment and other people on the road and the affect that they are having on you.

The next time you catch yourself curse the person who cut you off, stop. See if you can take a deep breath. You'll notice that when you are in that kind of rush or panic, the stress registers in your body and your breath will get shallow or inconsistent in some way. Witness the effects that driving has on your body physically, mentally, and emotionally. How does it affect your musculoskeletal structure, your posture, your breathing, your mood, your attitude, your thoughts, and your feelings?

See if you can transport yourself from one place to another, without rushing but without being in another world, but being fully in this world, anticipating other people's moves, using judgment and awareness when it comes to your moves, and trusting that you are going to get to where you need to go when you get there, so abandon the controlling, the rushing, the worrying, the aggravation with other people, and allow yourself to just be.

What Inspires You?

I've discovered a way for keeping myself on track. I decided that if I can constantly remind myself and remain aware of what inspires me, what motivates me, what my intention is for how I'd like to interact with the world, the environment, the people, and the situations that surround me, I will be able to keep myself in a balanced place.

When I catch myself driving aggressively, I have to stop myself and say: what if my teacher saw this? What would she say? I could hear Mokshapriya saying to me: "you're not present." And what if my students saw this? Is this not what I teach and talk about in class? (And as a side-note to students: our work is all the same. Your teachers are not infallible or perfect. For everyone, the work is about being present, being focused, being mindful.)

So what is it for you? Is there someone or something that inspires you to be better? A parent, a child, a sibling, friend, a lover, a teacher, a student...? If not someone, is there a goal, a higher purpose, a challenge, a path, that motivates you and inspires you to be who you are/who you want to be?

Figure out what that this is, and use it. In your darkest, ugliest, most humiliating, mortifying, unproud moments,   remember that person, that thing, that idea, that image, and let it drive you to rise to the occasion. Let it be the thing that allows you to show up, to pull through, and rise above being someone you don't want to be. Because every single one of us is that person on occasion. Every single person does or says or just thinks something that he would rather not, something that is in stark discrepancy with what she really wants out of life or out of herself.

Gratitude

Today I had the privilege to teach three classes and to take two classes. Over six hours of yoga, and I cannot think of anything else I'd rather be doing.

It is the commuting from one place to another that can get grueling, but while I am mid-Long Island traffic and swearing every traffic light, I have to stop myself and recognize how lucky I am. I get to spend all day doing what I love to do. How many people can say that?

This forces me to stay present.

Gratitude.

Craving and Rejecting

The next time you find yourself stressed out, or challenged mentally or emotionally or physically, or whatever, see if you can just witness it. Without judgment, without expectation, just simple observation. See if you can observe the process of craving and rejecting. This simple cycle of craving something and rejecting another thing which can be applied to so many instances. It can be as basic as you have an itch on your face, you crave to be more comfortable and not feel that itch, so you reject the itch and the feeling of discomfort. This is the process of precept (of perceiving). The outcome is the action; you scratch the itch. This is a simple example. Now think of it on a much greater scale.

Your friend, or family member, or significant other, or coworker, or neighbor communicates that something you did or said was hurtful or offensive or uncomfortable in some way. You reject his or her feelings because they are not agreeable and you crave for things to just be fine and easy instead of questionable or difficult. So you deny or argue against his or her feelings instead of just accept that somebody in your life may feel a way that differs from how you feel. This forcefulness and pressure only makes things worse, and now you are hurt, offended, or uncomfortable too.

The Revealing Nature of Distractions

A few weeks ago I taught a class and found myself completely inspired by the group of students in front of me, and spoke to that... to that energy that I sensed in the room, and I could tell what I said resonated with more than one person in that class.

When I suggested that the class set an intention at the beginning of practice, I attempted to better explain what I meant by this, what I thought a strong and meaningful intention might be and how to figure out what you might want to set as an intention. I remember the effort to set an intention in my first classes, and wasn't sure what was meant by that. What is my intention? Where do I begin? It's a funny question to explore when you are not used to thinking in that way.

I told my students to look to their distractions to set an intention. Notice: what is it that is pulling you away from this moment, right now, right here? Where does the mind want to go? There is always going to be something to pull you away from the moment, there is always going to be a distraction, there is always going to be a reason why you are not 100%. When you can begin to notice patterns and habits, you can begin to work with them.

I watched my students. I presented examples: are you constantly on the move, are you always making to-do lists and busying yourself, living in the next moment, anticipating the future, worrying about something that hasn't even happened yet and very well may never happen? Your work is going to be about presence, about patience, and faith and trust in the present moment, because that is going to fuel your present action which is going to affect your future. Or, does your mind go to a critical place? Do you wander to a place of self-criticism and self-judgment? Beating yourself up, asking yourself why you're not better, telling yourself you are not good enough. Your intention needs to be about self-love, acceptance, and compassion. Judging yourself is one of the most detrimental things you can do. It disempowers you.

I watched as one student nodded her head. Another began to cry a little. It was so profoundly touching, to witness my words affect another person in that way, to know I had influenced someone, I had spoke to someone's experience, and very simply because I listened to an inner voice and I spoke from my heart. Though my students may not have considered it, I understood full well in that moment, the reason I can speak to these things, the reason I can understand and share my knowledge on this subject, is because I, too, have felt it. And during those darker moments, never did I think that they would somehow make me a better person by facilitating me to help another person see light.

The Balance Between The 3 Gunas: Rajas, Tamas, Sattva

I like the way my teacher, Mokshapriya, explains the 3 Gunas, or modes of life: look at nature, she says. Look at the birds. When the birds wake up, what do they do? They sing. This is their sattvic time. They rejoice; they don't think about work yet, they don't worry about when and how and where they are going to get their food, they just sing. When it comes time for forage for food, they go about their business, moving into rajas. At the end of the day, no matter what they did or did not get done, they put the beaks in the wings, and they sleep, because it is time for tamas. Very simple. Learn from the birds.