Resisting Negativity

"Some people are carriers of negativity. They are storehouses of pent-up anger and volatile emotions. Some remain trapped in the victim role and act in ways that further their victimization. And others are still caught in the cycle of addictive or compulsive patterns. Negative energy can have a powerful pull on us, especially if we're struggling to maintain positive energy and balance. It may seem that others who exude negative energy would like to pull us into the darkness with them. We do not have to go. Without judgment, we can decide it's okay to walk away, okay to protect ourselves. We cannot change other people. It does not help others for us to get off balance. We do not lead others into the Light by stepping into the darkness with them." --Melody Beattie

Yoga Attire

OK, I have been asked about clothing appropriate and ideal for yoga many times. Where can I get high-performance yoga clothing that doesn't cost an arm and a leg?

The easy answer to this is to go to Marshall's or Target or something -- functional yoga attire that should sustain many practices and washes and come at a reasonable price. And I have been guilty of this in times past.

However, as you increase your awareness and extend this mindfulness off of the yoga mat and into the world, this is bound to be challenged. My opinion on this matter is now highly influenced by being educated on this country's unethical outsourcing, slave labor, and sweatshop practices, which include but are not limited to unsafe and unjust working conditions and unfair and inadequate wages and compensation. This is contradictory of yoga! It violates the very first yama (the first of eight limbs of yoga), ahimsa, non-violence or non-harming. Yet for some reason, it goes unnoticed or unthought-of by many "yogis."

It is very difficult to buy fair trade/sweatshop-free in this country. Any big business or store that might be "convenient" is likely a primary offender; but choosing what may not be convenient is the yoga of shopping. It's the work. This work should not be isolated to yoga apparel, of course, it should influence all of our shopping habits and tendencies when possible. We all know what goes on with Nike by now, yet so many people seem unfazed, with the ubiquitous love for Nike Jordans. Adidas and Puma are similar offenders.
Athleta is one with Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic, businesses who have admitted to "unknowingly" use child labor.

And Lululemon Athletica, which is specifically a self-defined "yoga-inspired athletic apparel company" seems to have missed the mark on a large part of what yoga is all about. Unfortunately, here in the west, we seem to be under the impression that yoga is isolated only the movements of the body, the poses, the asanas (which is really just one of eight limbs that make up the practice and science of yoga). Lululemon sells pants for $148.00, which is interesting because while it was once U.S. and Canadian-manufactured, they now do at least 70% of manufacturing in locations such as China, South Korea, South America, Indonesia, Israel, Vietnam, Taiwan, and Thailand, and something tells me the workers in these countries are not compensated nearly a fraction of what Lululemon's appalling price tags read. Something about it screams "suspicious" to me and challenges my trust that Lululemon is abiding by the third yama, satya, or truthfulness. Ask Chip Wilson why he calls his company "Lululemon" and he "jokingly" says something about how funny it is to hear the Asian slave labors try to pronounce it. Not only is this a direct assault on the practice of ahimsa, non-harming, but seems to challenge the second of the yamas: asteya, non-stealing. Perhaps Lululemon wouldn't rub me the wrong way so much if they weren't claiming "strong ties to local communities" and penned a manifesto with ridiculously hypocritical sayings such as, "A daily hit of athletic-induced endorphines gives you the power to make better decisions, helps you be at peace with yourself, and offset stress" -- as though Lululemon should represent the index on "better decisions"; meaningless and transparent phrases such as, "That which matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least"; and of course confusing and disturbing quotes such as "Children as the orgasm of life."

But... there are other more mindful options though. Some U.S.-manufactured and fair-trade clothing retails I support include, but are not limited to, Mishogawear; Hardtail Forever; Shakti Activewear; Lucy Activewear; prAna; Rawganique; Mahadevi Design; and American Apparel. The empire of American Apparel was built off of the claim of being sweat-shop and slave labor free; however, I have recently heard some disappointing stories. Dov Charney, founder and CEO of American Apparel, has been accused of many sexual harassment lawsuits and has admitted to selecting descriptive words such as "slut" in relation to employees. This kind of behavior is also undesirable to yogis and other conscientious consumers; however, unlike Lululemon, at least Charney doesn't posit to be a spiritual example of some kind.

At the end of it all, though, I think what is important is your intention, the energy behind your decisions, to do good and to affect and influence the world in a positive way, as a consumer, a yoga practitioner, and a person.

Accepting Change

"The winds of change blow through our life, sometimes gently, sometimes like a tropical storm. Yes, we have resting places--tie to adjust to another level of living, time to get our balance, time to enjoy the rewards. We have time to catch our breath. But change is inevitable, and desirable. Sometimes, when the winds of change begin to rustle, we're not certain the change is for the better. We may call it stress or a temporary condition, certain we'll be restored to normal. Sometimes, we resist. We tuck our head down and buck the wind, hoping that things will quickly calm down, get back to the way things were. Is it possible we're being prepared for a new "normal"? Change will sweep through our life, as needed, to take us where we're going. We can trust that our Higher Power has a plan in mind, even when we don't know where the changes are leading. We can trust that the change taking place is good. The winds will take us where we need to go." --Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go

Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul, Highest State of Being

"The highest state you have ever experienced is simply the result of how open you were. If you don't close, it can be like this all of the time. Don't sell yourself short. This can go on all the time--unending inspiration, unending love, and unending openness. That is the natural state of a healthy heart. To achieve this state, simply allow the experiences of life to come in and pass through your being. If old energies come back up because you were unable to process them before, let go of them now. It's that easy... Just open, relax your heart, forgive, laugh, or do anything you want. Just don't push it back down. Of course it hurts when it comes up. It was stored with space; it's going to release with pain. You have to decide if you want to continue to walk around with stored pain blocking your heart and limiting your life. The alternative is to be willing to let it go when it gets stimulated. It only hurts for a minute and then it's over." --Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul

Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul: Processing Pain & Letting Go

I've been very influenced by Michael Singer's The Untethered Soul as of late. And to be perfectly honest, I haven't even completed the book. It's one of those books that you can only read so much of. It is very dense; it is a lot to process. In any event, Singer talks a lot about the process of being hit with something uncomfortable -- pain, grief, anger, jealousy, rage, guilt, shame, etc. -- and acknowledging that it is there, seeing it, studying it, watching it from a distance, and then simply allowing it to pass. I know, I know. Easier said than done, but it is possible. If it is possible for me, it is certainly possible for you. To be the observer of your mind, your own feelings and your own thoughts can happen. As my teacher Mokshapriya pointed out to me, you have two minds. If you didn't, how could you watch your thoughts? One mind (the observer, the detached one) can watch the other mind (the impulsive, emotional, ego mind that reacts to stimuli that trigger us). You've had moments like this, yes? To prove this, Singer reminds us... you are able to think and talk about how you feel, what your were thinking, when you are looking back on a situation in retrospect. For example, Singer says "When you tell a friend, 'Every time I talk to Tom, it gets me so upset,' how do you know it gets you upset?" (17) This is one mind watching the other mind (Singer calls it your "roommate.") You can watch, you can notice, you can monitor, control, and separate yourself from the thoughts, the emotions, the impulses and the reactions that drive us to suffer. We have these little episodes of inner dialogue, complaining, resisting, rejecting, suffering... "'My mind is driving me crazy. Ever since he said those things to me, I can't even sleep. My mind just won't shut up'"(27)... and yet, we are able to see it all while it's happening as though we are outside of it, we are not our emotions or our thoughts. We are conscious beings. And as a conscious being, you have the ability and the power to step aside and be aware of your pain and your suffering but not have to feel it, be consumed by it, and be thrown out of balance by it. This is what it is to practice yoga.

I have moments like these, and it is simply incredible. It liberates us. But of course we cannot stay there (for long); you will come in and out of this. You've experienced ephemeral and beautiful moments like these too, I'm sure. Moments where even your suffering can almost become humorous, when you can truly recognize the triviality and drama of the every day B.S. we are gripped with.

Make A Decision, Trust Your Gut

"It's impossible to make a wrong decision. Even if you make a wrong decision, you will very soon know it is wrong and you will learn a good lesson. It is worse not to make any decision at all. If you don't make any decision, you will not grow. If you want to do the right thing and you don't know what to do, there are many people who can help you. Ask some people in whom you have confidence, and follow their advice. Because ultimately, it's all for good. Even if you make a mistake, it's for good, because it teaches you that it's a mistake. You don't really lose anything." -Sri Swami Satchidananda

Yoga Sutras of Patanjali 33: Generating Compassion for the Negative

How many times do you end up feeling negative feelings when somebody throws or hands you something negative? If somebody gets angry at you, if somebody cuts you off, if somebody is not super friendly, if somebody does not thank you or express appreciation for you, if somebody does not react in a way that you expect them to, or if somebody is simply upset and having a bad day when it may have nothing to do with you at all, how often do we respond to these situations with thoughts, feelings, and actions that are negatively-rooted.

We tend to react to negativity with more negativity, right? Why? This is the natural tendency, but it doesn't really make much sense. It is just fuel to the fire. We are feeding it then. When somebody gets angry or upset with us, we generally are offended, become defensive, or even feel guilty and ashamed. None of this is helpful. The Ego likes to do this, because the Ego likes to make everything about us. Yes, it is all about us. Don't these reactions generally compound and worsen things though?

You have a choice what you want to take on and what you want to put out there in return. We forget that, and you do not need to accept the negativity that is being dealt to you, so long as you can train yourself to not feed this negativity with more negativity.

The next time you find yourself in a situation such as this, try just responding with compassion. Not guilt or shame or fear or anger or resentment or frustration or sadness, just compassion. Because you are then taking the Ego out of it. While feelings of guilt and shame imply that you are sorry for any wrongdoing, they are still sentiments that are about us, they are self-serving, and therefore somewhat selfish. Compassion or love is selfless.

Patanjali recommends this very same thing in Sutra 33. He says to have compassion for the unhappy; to have friendliness for the happy; to feel happiness in the virtuous or the good; and to feel equanimity for the wicked or the evil.